Update

Now that I've had some time to calm down a bit and become more rational, I'll give an update. Sadly, Zooey has, in fact, weaned himself. I say sadly, because it's hard for me to accept that my little baby, who is one year tomorrow, is making his own decision to pull away a bit from his mama, but also, sadly, because he wasn't quite making it through the night without nursing. Nor, has he master his reasoning skills enough for me to explain to him that nursing all night will be a hard habit to break.

I've gotten some great words of encouragement friends/other mamas and talked to my two favorite lactation consultants, who told me just what I needed to hear. That it was "okay" for him to do this. That I should feel successful and celebrate his independence. (whew. Breathe, relax the shoulders and release the tension cramping in my back.) It's rare that a baby self weans before 1, but it does happen(apparently). I was thinking that I had done something wrong, bad parent, life scarring, etc...

Josh has been incredible. I pump once a day to provide a night bottle, say "Good Night" and then Josh takes it from there, and I don't know what to do with myself. And actually, seeing how my own 'drying up' process has been a breeze so far, it's clear to me now that Zooey's been more accepting of his growing up process for a while as evidenced by my lower milk production and his increased love of table food.


I would totally keep nursing him to sleep and whenever he woke up, but when he's sleepy and I pick him up he seems conflicted with what is habit and what he wants. He dives to nurse, but then yanks away resulting in horribly confused screaming.


I was prepared for a gradual happier weaning process, but in just one week of following Zooey's cues he has stopped nursing and not looked back, except for a very sweet half nurse one morning, I'm pretty sure he did that for his mama, and one time when he was so upset it was a last resort. He also cut a bottle out from his daily three at daycare and welcomes cups of whole milk instead. Ahhh, my baby is so grown up!

So, having spent a lot of time the past couple of days remembering his beautiful birth and first year, I welcome the growth, independence and changes to come in year 2.

Happy Birthday Zooey! Mama loves you!
-Kelly