A Natural Experience

This is a post that I started a long time ago and am just now finishing. It was written a few days before Zooey was born. It's weird to read back and hear myself wonder what birth would be like. It makes me so thankful that everything happened as it was suppose to. Maybe not exactly the way I imagined, but it was beautifully perfect still.

Here's what I wrote...
So, I'm right at one week until my due date and constantly in a state of waiting to feel those first few moments of labor. With every little tighten or twinge, I think, "Is this it?" But according to my midwife, I'll probably go right up to the 16th or beyond. We'll see.

As much as I've read and heard about labor, I'm sure I'll know when it's actually happening. For various reasons I've decided to have a natural/unmedicated birth. You can imagine the reactions that a decision such as this, in today's world of epidurals and letting the medical world take care of things, would have. Regardless, this has become quite an important decision to me (and Josh).

When I first found out that I was pregnant, I wasn't quite sure about having a natural childbirth. I didn't know that many women who had done it. It isn't the pain so much that scares me, but more of the intensity of the situation. I tend to get very anxious or overwhelmed. As I considered that, I thought about being there, giving birth, everyone taking care of things, Josh being there super excited, midwives running about and me in the middle unable to feel or be an active part of it. I know, that sounds weird, because with the baby coming out of me, of course I would be a part of it. What I'm saying is that with everyone else there, 100% present in the moment, I feel certain that I would feel left out of something I've been waiting and preparing for over the last 10 months (or the past several years).

As the mid-wife had predicted, I did go past my due date.

A lot of people have asked me whether I'll have a natural childbirth again. Of course, I will. I understand it sounds crazy since I was in labor for 67 hours with Zooey. Even so, I still think natural childbirth is important - allowing a woman's body to do what it knows to do is important - for mommy and baby. What people don't realize is that if I had allowed intervention earlier in my labor, there's a good chance that it would have ended in a spiral of interventions. I had prodromal labor, meaning my body was in the active labor stage for a really long time. I needed more time than what hospitals want to give. Actually, a lot of first time mothers have prodromal labor. Trying to 'force' labor can have negative effects on the process.

I was extremely against interventions. Epidurals will sometimes slow down contractions, giving some doctors reasons to want to give the mother pitocin. Or the other way around. Pitocin creates extremely unnatural and grueling contractions. Then if the mom is still not 'progressing'(like it's her fault), the baby might be stressed(because the pitocin is causing hard, fast contractions) and this process many times end with a caesarean.

Woman's bodies were created for this, yes, even though it's painful. In our attempt to live a painfree existence, we've become scared to feel any pain - even if it's beautifully purposeful. So, there's my soapbox.

Zooey is already almost 5 months old!

We've been having so much fun with Zooey. Of course we had to get a few pics with a pumpkin to welcome the season even though it's still hot.

The weather was perfect the other day, so Zooey and I spent most of the afternoon outside.

Well here we are with a three month old. Tonight I looked back through some pictures of my pregnant self and from when Zooey was born. I feel like that part of my life was forever ago. And now I'm holding a very smiley, alert baby boy.

We've gone from this just over three months ago...

to this... We are loving being a family of three.

Sprouts and Sunflowers

Zooey just returned from his first trip to the farmer's market. Where he saw lots of delicious fresh foods. There were several comments made by people about his obvious sweetness. Which is intensified when he's napping with his mouth wide open in the sling. We bought sprouts, sunflowers and garlic from local farmers. I'm sure we would have gotten more or indulged in some of the awesome breads had it not come a big thunderstorm. We weren't able to get a crop share this summer, so now we have a great place to get out with the little guy.

- Kelly

ps. Nursing Moms, sprouts are great for milk production.

6 weeks old

i'm totally typing with one hand while nursing a very tired zooey. we had great day together getting out of the house to run a few errands - target, the mall, work. he was perfect. i got him in and out of the car seat to the sling several times with no fussing. fyi- moms, make sure you have a sling to wear your baby in, they work miracles.

zooey is already 6 weeks old. it's crazy. i'm amazed at how the time flies even when you're sitting on the couch breastfeeding for most of the day. i've loved it. i feel like i might be getting the hang of things for now. i'm happy - and rested enough - to say that zooey has been sleeping through the night for 7 hour stretches. amazing, right? i feel his compassionate nature already. he quietly drifts off to sleep around 11;30 and politely wakes us up around 7. of course now that i'm bragging that will probably all go out the window.

being a baby is hard work. in 6 weeks of outside life zooey has already experienced so much. shots, a mosquito bite, tongue tie clipping (so sad), thrush, clueless parents, humidity, a move to a new apartment, second hand smoke (yuck), a clumsy mom bumping his head (calm down, it wasnt hard), cat fur in his mouth, daddy's chest hair in his mouth, a lack of communication, cradle cap, apparently an unquenchable thirst, whew- no wonder he's so tired.

-kelly

Things you should reconsider saying to a pregnant woman

After speaking with several people about various comments I've received during my pregnancy, it appears clear to me that some people, most likely people who have never been pregnant, lack judgment when deciding how to compliment a pregnant lady. I'm going to take it upon myself to speak for pregnant women about things you should probably not say to us. I realize that most people, I would hope, are not mean spirited in their remarks, but let's consider a few things...

While checking out at Target the other day, the lady ringing me up simply looked at me in my present state and said, "You're huge." At first I was thinking that I had misunderstood her, so I naively said, "Excuse me?" and she repeated with emphasis, "You are huge!" Now on most days, I'm able to accepts these remarks as compliments, being rather use to them by now, but on this day, I felt myself turn red in the face and sarcastically say back, "Yeah, I am, thanks." and walk off with tears in my eyes, trying to think of something mean I could say about her appearance. But seeing that she was a young 20ish girl with clear skin and a tiny body, I could think of nothing, but the overwhelming desire to get home so that I could get back in the bed.

Other daily remarks include by are not limited to:
- Oh my gosh, look how big you are! (this one's not so bad, depending on the hormones of the day)
- You are enormous.
- You are gigantic.
- How much bigger will you get?
- How much weight have you gained?
- You must be so uncomfortable (ya think? I'm carrying around a human in a small space on the inside of my body.)
- Oh my, that's going to be one big baby, so you're probably going to have a c-section right? Umm, NO.
- You look like you are ready to pop! Now, if she is ready to pop, this one might be okay, but I had people telling me this when I was only 6 months along. That's not nice.
- And my least favorite, Are you sure there's only one baby in there? It sure looks like you are having twins.

Now, I talk about myself being huge or big all the time, but that's me talking about my own body. I know what size I use to be compared to the size I am now. A lot of the comments I've gotten came from total strangers with no background knowledge as to what I use to look like. Some how, this is worse. They make their comment and I'm left asking myself, "Why do they think it's okay to walk up to a perfect stranger and tell her how big she is? How has that become a socially acceptable thing to do?"

When you see a pregnant woman, consider these things:
1. We aren't thinking the bigger I am, the better.
2. We are VERY aware of our growing size. We've gotten to watch ourselves grow out of all of our clothes and slowly lose the ability to do various activities - like sitting up or getting off the couch by ourselves. We know we're getting bigger everyday. You aren't going to surprise us with the news.
3. Would a non-pregnant woman be hurt by what you are about to say? If so, why say it to a woman surging with extra hormones.
4. Say your insensitive comments at your own risk. We have been known to cry easily or lash out at people at the drop of a hat.
5. Why not think of something else to say such as:
-You are beautiful! (this one still works)
- That belly is beautiful. (I got this one this weekend, and it felt nice.)
- You look great.
- Congratulations!
- You must be so excited!

I have loved my pregnancy. I have my bad days, of course, but all in all, I find this experience exciting, amazing and beautiful. This sweet little boy has been growing inside my body without me doing much at all. I feel him kick and turn and stretch. It doesn't always feel good, but if I focus on the negative parts all day, I'll miss out on how wonderful it is.

So I encourage you next time you are at the grocery store or around town to make a pregnant woman feel beautiful and happy. Don't remind her of how tired or big she is, but rather how something amazing is happening in her body.

- Kelly

The countdown

So I'm down to a mere 4 weeks until my due date. Of course now, it feels like this pregnancy has flown by. I've spent the past several days "nesting" I guess, in a way. Multiple loads of laundry, cleaning, making lists, reading various baby books, freaking out to Josh about all the stuff that still needs to be done, etc. I'm hoping that these last few weeks will be exciting but also peaceful as we prepare to meet Zooey face to face. I can become overwhelmed quite quickly, but the thought of holding a tiny mixture of Josh and I that I already feel like I know helps me center my thoughts once again. It helps me to remember what a beautiful experience this is.

-Kelly

ps - Don't be fooled by the picture. It was taken a few months back. I'm much bigger now.

carseats and strollers

So I've been doing a crap ton of research on various baby items, mostly carseats and strollers. It's exhausting. Why do there have to be so many choices? I find something I like, then I immediately second guess my decision and wonder, "Is there a better one?" Uggg. I usually like things plain and simple (do I really need a sound system in my stroller?) - but my own thinking is what complicates matters in trying to find the most reasonable options. Which is ironic. If I liked the bells and whistles and the most popular of things no matter the cost - my job/research would be done. Strollers, I have found, can be quite ridiculous.

Questions I ask myself...
* How much am I really going to use it? Really?
* Will I be sad if it gets dirty or scratched?
* Is someone going to stalk me at the zoo waiting for it to be left unattended so that they might steal it and sell it on ebay?
* Am I going to need some sort of insurance policy on it?
* Hmmm, pay the rent or get this one?
* Will I be irritated everytime I think about how much we paid for this, when it's just a stupid stroller?

This questions have allowed me to narrow down our numerous choices considerably. Now the choice doesn't seem so hard. Now, deciding on a color is a whole different to do list.

Welcome

So I decided to start a blog. One hope in doing this is to possibly do a better job of keeping in touch with family and friends. I do not plan on making it a soapbox or a play by play of each day. But more of a sketch of things happening in my life, which at this point, is mostly pregnant stuff.

Enjoy!

So to start things off...