This is a post that I started a long time ago and am just now finishing. It was written a few days before Zooey was born. It's weird to read back and hear myself wonder what birth would be like. It makes me so thankful that everything happened as it was suppose to. Maybe not exactly the way I imagined, but it was beautifully perfect still.
Here's what I wrote...So, I'm right at one week until my due date and constantly in a state of waiting to feel those first few moments of labor. With every little tighten or twinge, I think, "Is this it?" But according to my midwife, I'll probably go right up to the 16th or beyond. We'll see.
, would have. Regardless, this has become quite an important decision to me (and Josh). When I first found out that I was pregnant, I wasn't quite sure about having a natural childbirth. I didn't know that many women who had done it. It isn't the pain so much that scares me, but more of the intensity of the situation. I tend to get very anxious or overwhelmed. As I considered that, I thought about being there, giving birth, everyone taking care of things, Josh being there super excited, midwives running about and me in the middle unable to feel or be an active part of it. I know, that sounds weird, because with the baby coming out of me, of course I would be a part of it. What I'm saying is that with everyone else there, 100% present in the moment, I feel certain that I would feel left out of something I've been waiting and preparing for over the last 10 months (or the past several years).
As the mid-wife had predicted, I did go past my due date.
A lot of people have asked me whether I'll have a natural childbirth again. Of course, I will. I understand it sounds crazy since I was in labor for 67 hours with Zooey. Even so, I still think natural childbirth is important - allowing a woman's body to do what it knows to do is important - for mommy and baby. What people don't realize is that if I had allowed intervention earlier in my labor, there's a good chance that it would have ended in a spiral of interventions. I had prodromal labor, meaning my body was in the active labor stage for a really long time. I needed more time than what hospitals want to give. Actually, a lot of first time mothers have prodromal labor. Trying to 'force' labor can have negative effects on the process.
I was extremely against interventions. Epidurals will sometimes slow down contractions, giving some doctors reasons to want to give the mother pitocin. Or the other way around. Pitocin creates extremely unnatural and grueling contractions. Then if the mom is still not 'progressing'(like it's her fault), the baby might be stressed(because the pitocin is causing hard, fast contractions) and this process many times end with a caesarean.
Woman's bodies were created for this, yes, even though it's painful. In our attempt to live a painfree existence, we've become scared to feel any pain - even if it's beautifully purposeful. So, there's my soapbox.
