Things you should reconsider saying to a pregnant woman

After speaking with several people about various comments I've received during my pregnancy, it appears clear to me that some people, most likely people who have never been pregnant, lack judgment when deciding how to compliment a pregnant lady. I'm going to take it upon myself to speak for pregnant women about things you should probably not say to us. I realize that most people, I would hope, are not mean spirited in their remarks, but let's consider a few things...

While checking out at Target the other day, the lady ringing me up simply looked at me in my present state and said, "You're huge." At first I was thinking that I had misunderstood her, so I naively said, "Excuse me?" and she repeated with emphasis, "You are huge!" Now on most days, I'm able to accepts these remarks as compliments, being rather use to them by now, but on this day, I felt myself turn red in the face and sarcastically say back, "Yeah, I am, thanks." and walk off with tears in my eyes, trying to think of something mean I could say about her appearance. But seeing that she was a young 20ish girl with clear skin and a tiny body, I could think of nothing, but the overwhelming desire to get home so that I could get back in the bed.

Other daily remarks include by are not limited to:
- Oh my gosh, look how big you are! (this one's not so bad, depending on the hormones of the day)
- You are enormous.
- You are gigantic.
- How much bigger will you get?
- How much weight have you gained?
- You must be so uncomfortable (ya think? I'm carrying around a human in a small space on the inside of my body.)
- Oh my, that's going to be one big baby, so you're probably going to have a c-section right? Umm, NO.
- You look like you are ready to pop! Now, if she is ready to pop, this one might be okay, but I had people telling me this when I was only 6 months along. That's not nice.
- And my least favorite, Are you sure there's only one baby in there? It sure looks like you are having twins.

Now, I talk about myself being huge or big all the time, but that's me talking about my own body. I know what size I use to be compared to the size I am now. A lot of the comments I've gotten came from total strangers with no background knowledge as to what I use to look like. Some how, this is worse. They make their comment and I'm left asking myself, "Why do they think it's okay to walk up to a perfect stranger and tell her how big she is? How has that become a socially acceptable thing to do?"

When you see a pregnant woman, consider these things:
1. We aren't thinking the bigger I am, the better.
2. We are VERY aware of our growing size. We've gotten to watch ourselves grow out of all of our clothes and slowly lose the ability to do various activities - like sitting up or getting off the couch by ourselves. We know we're getting bigger everyday. You aren't going to surprise us with the news.
3. Would a non-pregnant woman be hurt by what you are about to say? If so, why say it to a woman surging with extra hormones.
4. Say your insensitive comments at your own risk. We have been known to cry easily or lash out at people at the drop of a hat.
5. Why not think of something else to say such as:
-You are beautiful! (this one still works)
- That belly is beautiful. (I got this one this weekend, and it felt nice.)
- You look great.
- Congratulations!
- You must be so excited!

I have loved my pregnancy. I have my bad days, of course, but all in all, I find this experience exciting, amazing and beautiful. This sweet little boy has been growing inside my body without me doing much at all. I feel him kick and turn and stretch. It doesn't always feel good, but if I focus on the negative parts all day, I'll miss out on how wonderful it is.

So I encourage you next time you are at the grocery store or around town to make a pregnant woman feel beautiful and happy. Don't remind her of how tired or big she is, but rather how something amazing is happening in her body.

- Kelly