Making Christmas

The First English Christmas was a success! Today is the first day back to school and work for Z and Josh, after a wonderful, slow-paced and easy Christmas time together. 

We had a little "Charlie Brown" tree of sorts that we've decorated with ornanments Z and I made. We took it slow and easy for the first time ever. Don't get me wrong, we missed our families back in the states terribly. Thank goodness for Skype! But for the first time didn't spend tons of time in a car driving all over the place, feeling rushed. We cozied up at home, went for family walks, adventured around to the fun markets and concerts in Oxford, went to parties and spent Christmas Day with new friends and their families, joined in the carol singing, minced pies, crackers(not ones that you eat) and Christmas pudding(not sure how I feel about it, but it is fun to set it lit on fire before covered in cream sauce) traditions. 

Went to see a Christmas play with friends.

Making salt dough ornaments. Messy.

Painting salt dough ornanments. Messier.

So, I at least started a Christmas quilt... next year.

Zooey refused to take the traditional "stand by the tree" picture. 

crafting

Christmas Eve lunch. Bangers and Mash with roasted veggies - not cooked by me. Delicious.

There are lots of new beginnings, traditions, changes to be grateful for as we finished 2013. I'm happy to wipe the slate clean of the more negative feelings that come from moving and changing, and look forward to the continued new adventures in 2014.

Happy New Year!

ps - The mailman just reminded me of another new fun thing - Boxing Day and Boxing Day Sales(kinda like Black Friday) He just dropped off the fun, usually too expensive fabrics I got for half price! 2014 is looking good.

Cheers!

Kelly

Shame

Brene Brown is a person I've come across recently in various posts and TED talks. I haven't read her books yet(buying one today), but appreciate the work and research she is doing to acknowledge and discuss people's inability or unwillingness to talk about anything that may feel uncomfortable or make them seem weak, myself included. 

Feeling like I can't be myself or say how I really feel, because I fear a person's reaction or dissappointment is probably my least favorite feeling. True to my "middle child" sterotype, I like to please or say what people want to hear. It's what, I feel, separates me from people I love. Mixing that with guilt for not being honest. Ugh.

I know lots of others feel the same way. "Let's not talk about it" has become a real separation or disconnectedness for humans. Fear is what keeps us from connecting to others - listening, considering, acknowledging, being tolerant, etc. of others.

Hearing this talk on vulnerability and shame comes not a moment too soon for myself, seeing as I'm doing lots of new things, exploring, making new friends, preparing for family visits; but also as I've become increasingly aware of the things I say to Zooey or the way I parent. The way I phrase things or demand certain behaviors matters. He feels my frustration, lack of patience, or disappointment; and sometimes it makes him stressed or sad or feel guilty or shamed. I don't want him to feel shame - which Dr. Brown defines as not feeling good enough; and I don't want to be the one who shames him.

Even when he's cranky and won't smile in front of a huge Christmas Tree. 

Can you tell my mind is racing? There are lots of things this research makes me think about.

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame.html

Kelly

Happenings

So, Halloween is done and the real English weather is settling in. One of my favorite new things is to exploring the city as a family. We luckily woke up last Sunday to a beautiful sunny morning and so loaded up on our bikes for a chilly morning spent roaming the street of Oxford. Zooey loves running around the various courtyards near the Bodleian Library.

Yes, I am wearing leg-warmers.

Toddlers are so good at being told to be silent.

We were walking along and I said, "Josh, we have to stop and take a picture." "why?" "Because there are several things that I like all right there together. Trees with Autumn leaves, old buildings with history, narrow cobble-stone streets, blue sky with puffy clouds, green grass, and bikes." "Oh, ok."

Last week for Halloween, my new friend, Rebecca, and I took our kiddos to Millet's farm for the Halloween Howl. 

Z was a super-hero.

Toddler mosh-pit

I love this picture! Z was trying really hard to not get pumpkin slime on his hands. He's using a spoon to scoop it out.

Here I'm showing him a good way to lose a thumb.

Don't worry, i still have all ten fingers

Spookley the square pumpkin!

I don't know when the last time we were all three in a picture together. 

In honor of Spookley and tolerance of others everywhere, Zooey picked out a messed up pumpkin from the patch. I had grown upside down and was pear shaped. He hugged it and happily carried/dropped it all the way to the car. 

Also, he found the bat costume i made for him from last year. I remember packing it, thinking that it still fit. Nope, but Z doesn't mind the 3 quarter length sleeves one bit.

Kelly

Moving

From the Tao of Healing:

The pendulum swings to and fro...

The sage had found the stillpoint between;

Remaining neutral

She teaches by living a simple, honest life;

She creates by allowing, 

She feeds without forcing,

And gives by receiving.

She heals by perceiving

One's inner wholeness,

Then let's go.

Because she lets go,

She's always in touch.

Moving is hard. Even moving across the neighborhood. I have experience with moving, and probably, as assumed, moving to a new country has been the hardest. Not bad, just difficult. Exciting, new, refreshing, fun; but difficult. 

Moving challenges parts of me that were hiding. It reminds me of the good things that I left. Friends, closeness to family, comfort, convience,my blue hoodie, etc. At the same time, moving can be somewhat easy. We purged our lives of lots of junk (literally) and set off on a family adventure that Josh and I have dreamily spoken about in the years we've been together. Here we have more quiet time, empty drawers and less piles, less laundry, less dishes. More time and space to be and be together.

Moving allows me to feel homesick. Homesick for gone/far-away moments; balmy Florida fall mornings, quiet moments setting up my classroom, building fires at Granny's or in my backyard, eating at Moe's, seeing fall and Halloween decorations literally exploding out of everywhere, making the quick 7 hour drive to my family, driving.

Moving demands for me to acknowledge to anxiety i feel. I'm fairly adventurous - sometimes laid-back and spontaneous, but moving makes everything new. New stores, new systems, new daily tasks, new weather. It can be tiring - which provokes the yearning for something that I already know.

Moving makes me a stronger person, wife, mama, friend, daughter, sister - all of those other things that I am...At the end of the day, I can reflect on the new experiences and then tomorrow, they'll be the things I learned how to do yesterday, and then they will become the things that I know.

New school, New College

Zooey started school the other day.

So, apparently, the city of Oxford allocates 15 free hours of nursery to 3 year olds. Who knew? It has been one of the first things people we've met tell us. We started looking into it, because, as much fun as he and I been having together, and as many friends as we have made, I'm not a three year old, and Z has really been missing the structure of school.

His last school was awesome and did wonders for his extremely social self. Whenever we passed schools, he would ask if he could go there. So, we looked into the one right around the corner, contacted them, visited and they said he could start this week. He seriously walked right in and said, "bye, mom!"

I wanted to resist. I felt like it happened too fast, and that I hadn't given a proper try to homeschooling, which really for a three year old is playing, running, screaming and creating, tirelessly, allllllllll the live long day. When I saw how excited he was...well, oh, and then I realized that now I have three whole hours to myself every morning! I think we'll all be just fine.

Below are pictures from the weekend. We biked downtown as a family. Mommy does the real work. I now have a toddler seat on the back of my crappy bike that only has one gear. It's a bit of a workout, but fun.

We saw a movie being filmed. Z thought it was a parade that kept coming back and starting over. They yelled cut and reset several times.

We also visited New College. In case you don't know, Oxford University is actually made up of several different colleges. Each of them have their own history, old buildings, professors, and tours. 

The old city wall (above)

Below is the tree and courtyard that you may recognize from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire! It's where Harry and Malloy argued and Mad-eye turned Malfoy into a weasel. Yep, I'm a Potter nerd.

As you can see, we're having fun and enjoying amazing fall weather. I thought they said it rained a lot here. :) oh, just wait...

- kelly

Our Days

Our days have been pretty full and fun -say the least- and we are just now, some what, settling into a rhythm. Zooey wakes us up every morning with the request for Cheerios; Josh and I play 'chicken' to see who is going to be the first one to break and get out of bed. Coffee, multiple bowls of Cheerios, reading, trying to distract Zooey enough to limit the amount of stomping he does (we are in an upstairs flat - sorry neighbor.), and then Josh leaves. 

I must admit, I don't know who the transition to "stay at home Mommy" has been harder for. Most days are fairly smooth and eventful. There are some crafts, songs, games, a lot of park time and field trips to explore together. I'm really thankful for the tons of time together and that i have someone to explore with. 

Then other days...we fight like brother and sister. I don't know who is in control - it doesn't feel like me. Honestly, my little brother was much easier to boss around. 

Those days have me doubting what I'm doing here, with Zooey, in Oxford, in my life, in Josh's life, in Z's life, in my friend's life, in my creative life,  etc...( this list spirals to a pretty dismal place - ending in the fetal position.)

I've been reading a lot from blogs that I follow about 'rhythm' in one's home/daily life. It's definitely something I'm seeking - I think all three of us are. I've noticed that the first thing that I had to accept when trying to establish 'rhythm' for us, was that I wasn't going to be in control of it all - and that I shouldn't be attempting to be so. Whew! That's a biggie! For a lot of people, but, in my case, for teachers, 'control of your classroom' is a must. Seeing that it's now fall and my teacher friends are sending me pictures and stories of their new classrooms - I, myself ,have attempted to carve a few "teacher-y" spaces in our flat. I made a calendar, pencil and marker cups, and a lot of Z and my conversations have been about Autumn and apples and the letter 'a'. 

Oxford

We've been here now for one whole month. And a full month it has been. So we live in Oxford now. Whew! I feel as though we talked about it, planned, visualized for a really long time, and then, in no time at all, it became our normal everyday.

So let's see what's happened...

We moved. Zooey did wonderful with the traveling. He didn't meltdown until we landed in London, resulting in us having to carry him through customs along with our overstuffed luggage and somehow we forgot to pick up the stroller at baggage claim. By that time we were all hitting our wall. Zooey immediately fell asleep in the cab to the hotel.

The first of three airplanes

Our  13 boxes being loaded on the truck to somewhere. We thought that we would be getting our stuff today. As it turns out, today may be the day it arrives to England. Then it has to sit in customs for at least 5 days. After that the company can make arrangements with us for delivery. This would have been extremely useful information for us to have about two months ago when we were carefully planning to travel with only enough for the first three weeks. ugh. 

The Blue Lagoon in Iceland. A wonderful distraction during our 9 hour layover. 

Resting up for one more flight

London

Z didn't make it to dinner - Josh and I were hanging on by a thread - Still exciting to be eating at an old favorite - Wagamama's

Headed to Oxford

Zooey discovered the double decker buses 

We're having fun exploring and getting to know our new town. It's slowly starting to feel permanent instead of like a long vacation. We've luckily enjoyed tons of great weather, which I like to think of as a 'welcoming gift'. Thanks, Oxford!

cheers,
Kelly